12 January 2012

Getting myself back

To those of you who have things here on my to-do pile:

(no this isn't really my to-do pile but it was the quickest pic I could snap of a fabric pile!)

I AM starting to feel like getting back at it.  I always think I will get back at it right after the holidays end.  And it ALWAYS takes me a couple weeks to even start thinking about it!
You see, I suffer from SAD.  or here.
It is a real disorder and not something made up.  Check it out for yourself if you don't believe me!
It is sort of like baby blues - at least the ones I had.  If you experienced baby blues you can understand in a way what I deal with every January.  If you never experienced baby blues or any other form of feeling down - PRAISE GOD!
The baby blues hit me hard with the Teenager.  I had no idea it was coming and had no idea how long it would last.  Thankfully it ran it's course in two weeks.  With Middle Sister and Little Sister I knew it would probably happen and I knew what to expect, and that it would most likely be over in 2 weeks.
I am realizing (finally) that I will deal with this every year after the holidays.  I can handle winter till then.  After the holidays end it hits me - no matter how sunny and no matter how temperate the winter clime.
Recognising this I must strive to plan accordingly.  No deadlines in January.  No planning on sewing till at least 2 weeks after my Sister goes home after Christmas (that's when the holidays end for me)
As of last night I felt the first stirrings of ambition and eagerness to 'get back at it'.  I've been functioning but only doing what HAD to be done and what I felt like doing.  A lot of sitting on the couch.  A lot of playing with my new laptop.  A lot of rethinking my blog -more on that to come as it unfolds.  And a lot of school.  Starting promptly at 8:30.  Teaching Little Sister to read.  Struggling to get The Teenager through math.  So I'm not just curled up in bed with the covers over my head(though that can be what I really want to do). 
Hurrah for the two week point!  I'll have my down days in the next 3 months  - I always do.  It's all part of SAD.  The best thing I could do for it would be to go to a warmer climate for at least a couple weeks during the winter. 
So now you know there is a real disorder behind my dislike of Winter.
It's real.  And I have to deal with it every year.  On an up note it is only 79 days till April!!!!!
My creativity is starting to come back - sporadic as it may be this time of year. 
 Along with it is Ambition.   GOD IS GOOD!

When thru the deep waters I call you to go
The river of sorrow will not overflow
For I will be with you your troubles to bless
And sanctify to you your deepest distress.

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